When it rains, it pours.
If you wake up and it's way too hot, you will inevitably also have gut-wrenching cramps that make you turn into a raging dragon woman.
If you need to take a shower, there will be no hot water left, and as you try to shampoo your hair, you will do the "Ice Water Dance", in which you dodge around the shower as nimbly as possible without falling to a slippery death, and pray to God that that frigid water will STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU until you're good and ready to hear your own teeth chatter.
If you survive the shower, your hair will tangle and frizz until you are more focused on trying to make the bedhead look work than actually trying to look like a put-together human being.
When your hair gets as close to cooperating as possible without just saying, "Fuck it," grabbing the clippers, and shaving it all off, you will then find that you have nothing to wear in your closet that doesn't make you look like a beached whale escaped from Sea World.
And when you finally look into the mirror at the result of this catastrophe of a morning....
...you realize you don't have to be awake for another 2 hours....
P.S. And then you realize that your zodiac sign of nearly 20 years is now changed....except in comparison with the rest of the day, it's pretty much a non-issue....
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